Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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