I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
