Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
