I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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