you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
