I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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