that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
