Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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