I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
