I would go down on you faster than GM stock
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
