in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
