fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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