Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
