I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
