So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it glows. i had to have it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
