this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
