Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
