Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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