We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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