Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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