Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
