Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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