I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
