I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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