Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Even my vagina gasped.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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