Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
