it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
