the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
