things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
