I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
