New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
