ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
