You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
