Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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