I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
