we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
