fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
