no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
