Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
