you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
