My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
