I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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