i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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