OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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