bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
