literally had 100 drinks last night.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
