I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
