Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
