the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
