oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
